Posts Tagged ‘flaws’

Edited to add: The winner of my Birds Nest Necklace is…BLUE BUTTON DESIGNS! Congratulations Blue Button. Please email me at ct2designs@gmail.com to receive your free necklace. Thanks to everyone for leaving a comment, liking my fan page, following my blog & hearting my Etsy shop. ENJOY the rest of your weekend. XO!

Well, hello there friends, Cindy here to share with you one of many flaws I live with every day. But first, a little about me!

Photo by Ali McLaughlin Photography

I’m a 40-something stay at home mom living in the “semi” southern state of Virginia. I’m a former military (brat) and have once served in the military and I miss traveling! I’m mama to two very active and imaginative little ones that keep me on my toes, Tyler (9) and Corinne (4.5) and happily married to my best friend, Tim (10 years this July). We have an adorable fat tabby who likes to keep us up at night named Crush. I adore my little family. They are my happiness and give me so many reasons to enjoy life more and more each day & are so much fun to hang out with, even on a not so good day.

I love to cook and drink good wine, at the same time, of course. I’m always in the kitchen making new recipes to share with my family and they don’t mind being my guinea pigs. You will often find me creating in my scrapbook studio. I have been scrapbooking since 2003 and enjoy every minute of it. I design scrapbook projects for two amazing company’s Creative Memories & Lily Bee Design and you can read more of my ramblings and see my work often on my blog. Another love of mine is creating jewelry. I had spent a couple of years learning metalsmithing – still learning as we speak – and can’t get enough of it. Forming, shaping, sawing, heating, hammering and making something so pretty out of a sheet of metal just makes my heart smile. You can find my jewelry pieces in my Etsy shop, CT2 Designs and follow me on Facebook and Twitter.

I am a pretty easy going kind of gal. I love to relax watching movies, reading a good book on my tablet or my husbands kindle, date nights with the man, mini road trips to fun places my kids enjoy and hanging out with my girlfriends.

So, my flaw, well, this is something I’ve not shared with many. Not for any particular reason, but it’s just not something that comes up in every day conversation, know what I mean? My flaws are OCD/ANXIETY. Now, I will say, I have only been diagnosed having anxiety after baring children, but never for OCD. I was given medication to help calm my anxiety 10 months after my daughter was born and after six months of use, I spent three months weaning myself off the medication. I didn’t want to spend my life taking it. Though, while on the medication, I noticed how calm I was and how differently I felt. It was a GREAT feeling! Since I didn’t want to have to rely on medication, I began working on relaxing more and not let things get to me.

Let’s go back a bit, my most common obsessive compulsion and/or anxiety disorder is the arrangement objects, things, etc. It’s something I have been doing for years. Specifically, during my years in the Army, I would literally sit at my desk to make sure everything was lined up correctly at the beginning of the day and before heading home. If someone put a sheet of paper in the wrong place on my desk, I would move it to the right spot and make sure it was perfectly straight. There were only two telephones in the office I worked in and my desk was the holding spot for one of them. I hated it. Whenever someone would use the phone, I would get so annoyed at them, because they didn’t put it back in the right spot. It needed to be set on the upper left side corner of my desk facing away from me with the spiral cord placed at it’s side, hanging of my desk so it wouldn’t take up too much desk space. Everyone thought I was nuts. I had these crazy thoughts that my co-workers would purposely move things around while I was gone and wait to see what I would do or say when I returned. Either they did or didn’t, in my head it felt like they did. Before the military, one of my chores while living with my parents was dusting. I never liked dusting, but when I had to do it, I made sure everything was completely dust free and put back nice and neat and uncluttered! As the day went on, I would notice something was moved and I would move it right back, correctly in my mind. But then I would spend the entire day freaking out if it was moved or misplaced again. This would go on for several days and sometimes a week.

I’m also a worrier! Something I inherited from my mother. Still to this day, I tell her she worries too much and yes, that came from someone who worries a lot and who also has anxiety, go figure. But it my way of comforting her, trying to ensure her that all will be alright, stop worrying and relax. At the same time, I would worry and sometimes worry for no reason. I always worried how I will say something to someone and have them take it the wrong way. I want to be honest with people and voice my opinion, but some would take it the wrong way depending on how it came out of my mouth. I would tense up so fiercely, I would sweat like crazy, my palms would feel clammy, my heart racing and my voice is less clear and more cut up slightly deeper because I am afraid to say something to that person. This is something I have dealt with as early as grade school.

Understanding that living with my wonderful husband, who doesn’t clean or pick up after himself unless told and leaves his clothes on the floor when he undresses and having two children that help keep our home a mess and cluttered with lots of toys, drawings and food crumbs everywhere, is OK!  Life is too short to worry about simple things such as the arrangement of objects or the clutter of things sitting on the countertop in the kitchen or cat food on the floor surrounding the cat bowl because Crush is a messy eater or the random three day old piece of bread found in my daughter’s toy box or the gazillion empty cups or bowls hiding in my sons bedroom or even the basket of books that should be placed in order by size with the spine facing up instead, there’s a pile of books overflowing in a scattered ever so randomly. I could go on and on.I am constantly working on overcoming these flaws; it’s a work in progress, that’s for sure. I have learned that keeping myself active and busy helps lessen my OCD/anxiety issues and learning that life is too short to spend it worrying all the time.

Now that I have shared something I really don’t ever talk about, my anxiety levels did increase as I was typing my flaw, I’m sure I’ll be judged. But, I am ok with that, because I’m not perfect! I am EXTREMELY happy with who I am, being ME, taking control of the situation and embracing the fact that I KNOW this is a flaw that will always be a part of me that I will not let get the best of me.

If you have OCD or anxiety, when did you notice and how did you overcome or deal with it in your everyday life? I would love to hear your story.

Without further ado, it’s time for a giveaway! If you would like to win one of my favorite and best sellers, the Birds Nest Necklace, all you have to do is leave a comment. You’ll have until Saturday, March 26th, at midnight (EST.) and I will randomly select a lucky winner.

Want to enter more than one time? Like my Facebook fan page (CT2 Designs), Heart my Etsy shop (CT2 Designs), Follow my blog (Live as We Live It) & follow me on Twitter (CT2 Designs).

Thanks for letting me share my flaw with you. Have a love day & happy second day of Spring, xo!


Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: